


Rebecca's Bad Brain Needs To Shut Up Already

by ohmarqueliot



Category: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (TV)
Genre: Existing Relationship, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, bad brain, these two dealing with their issues is important to me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-02
Updated: 2018-03-02
Packaged: 2019-03-25 23:54:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13845687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohmarqueliot/pseuds/ohmarqueliot
Summary: Nathaniel falls asleep easily, leaving Rebecca alone with her thoughts.





	Rebecca's Bad Brain Needs To Shut Up Already

Breathing heavily and still trembling with aftershocks, Rebecca shivered when Nathaniel rolled off of her and the cool air in the room hit her bare, sweaty skin. She absent-mindedly took the sheet when he pulled it up into her reach, but didn't bother to tuck it around her properly. Instead, she rolled over and pulled his arm up so she could duck underneath it. His arm dropped heavily around her, and she lowered her head onto his chest, feeling it rise and fall quickly as he got his breath back.

"We're pretty great at that," she said, caught up in the high of her recent orgasm, snuggling herself closer to him.

"Yeah," he said, giving her a quick squeeze. He sounded tired, which was fair. Or was it disinterested? No - it was late, and he'd just put a significant amount of effort into showing her a good time.

And he'd had a good time, too... right? He'd finished, for sure, but he'd enjoyed himself more than that, right? He did think they were good at that together, didn't he?

Of course he did. He was fine - more than that, he was good. She was definitely good. So good. Incredibly good.

Smoothing her hand up his stomach, she stopped at his chest, stroking his skin affectionately. He couldn't be asleep so quickly, but he didn't react, and she let herself reach for just a tiny bit of validation. "I love you," she murmured, kissing the smooth skin of his chest.

He did move then, turning his head to press a kiss to the top of her head. "Love you, too," he said sleepily, giving her lazy squeeze and then dropping his arm from around her shoulders to settle around her waist instead.

But she didn't feel better at all. Was it sleepy, or was it irritated? She was being stupid, she knew that, she was being needy and desperate and lonely. He was sick of her, wasn't he? He wasn't tired - he was tired of _her_. She'd said she loved him in an effort to hear it back and feel better, but she didn't feel better at all. She was bugging him, wasn't she, and he was just humouring her because it was easier.

She needed something more, some indescribable extra thing that would make her feel like he cared and that she was worth caring about and that he wasn't sick of her. But that was a stupid thing to ask for, especially when asking for it and prompting it would just make her feel more needy and desperate and like he was just doing it because she'd asked for it.

Nathaniel's breathing evened out to long, slow, deep movements, and she knew that he was asleep with the same absolute certainty that she knew she was wide awake. Every now and then he made a sound that was almost like a snore, and she felt the vibrations of it through his chest. She ran her hand up and down his chest experimentally, hoping that he was awake enough to respond, but he didn’t react at all. Of course not, because he fell asleep at night like a normal person.

 A normal person who wasn’t attracted to her and didn’t really care about her and was just tired of having her around, right?

There was no way she was falling asleep like this. Slipping carefully from underneath his arm, she rolled out of bed and grabbed the shirt he’d worn that day from the couch, slipping it over her shoulders and doing up a handful of buttons. It smelled like him, and she took that for reassurance. Walking over to the kitchen, she poured herself a glass of water and sat down at the counter. Putting her elbows on the bench, she dropped her chin into her palm and stared glumly at the wall, feeling herself sink further and further into her bad thoughts.

She _knew_ that he wasn’t just going to abandon her. She’d been doing so well lately, and she honestly trusted him enough not to let these thoughts mess her up too often. He wasn’t going to leave her. He certainly wasn’t going to wake up in the middle of the night and kick her out of his apartment.

But just because she knew that logically, it didn’t mean the heavy feeling in her gut was going away.

Scowling at herself, she rubbed her hands over her face, and then stayed where she was, pressing the bridge of her nose between her fingers. She jumped when something touched her, and relaxed only slightly when she realised Nathaniel was standing behind her. Maybe he hadn’t been as deeply asleep as she’d thought. He arms slipped around her from behind, wrapping around her middle and pulling her back against his chest, and she reluctantly leaned back from the counter, dropping her arms. “Sorry for surprising you,” he said quietly, dropping his chin into the junction of her neck and shoulder. “Are you okay?”

Closing her eyes, she shrugged with her other shoulder. She didn’t want him to think she was stupid. She also knew that if she told him what was wrong, he’d tell her that she had nothing to worry about and that he loved her and that he wasn’t going anywhere. But she already knew that, and him brushing aside her worries wasn’t actually going to help. Reaching back, she wrapped her hand around the back of his neck to keep him close, running her fingers through the short hairs there. “Just a case of bad brain,” she confessed.

“What can I do?” he asked, his voice full of concern.

This wasn’t something she needed him to fix; she needed to get her head around this herself. She shrugged, not really sure what she wanted him to do because anything she asked for would have just made her feel like he was only doing it because she asked. _God, brain, can’t you just stop?_

Nathaniel turned his head to press his face into her neck, and she could feel his warm, even breaths against her skin. His arm tightened around her waist, squeezing her gently, and he just stood there, hugging her, breathing with her, being with her.

It couldn’t be that easy, surely? Except that was what she was worried about – him not wanting those things, that closeness, with her. He pressed his lips to her cheek, and she leaned into him automatically. Long minutes passed, and still he just held her, just was with her, and surely she didn’t deserve someone so patient?

And yet here he was, being exactly what she needed.

Slowly, slowly, the negativity seeped out of her, and she relaxed in his arms. Letting out her breath slowly, she turned her head slightly, her eyes closed, her cheek against his. “Okay,” she mumbled eventually, not wanting to make a big deal, hoping he wouldn’t question her about it. “I could maybe sleep now.”

Without a word, he took her hand and led her back to the bed, and when she lay down beside him he took her in his arms, kissing her cheeks, her forehead, her hair, his hands stroking over her skin tenderly. She snuggled against him, feeling less intrusive now, feeling less in the way, and feeling a lot more peaceful.


End file.
